Being Restored

Life's been getting me down recently. This whole year i've struggled with what the Lord wanted for me. I drew close, then backed far away. Nothing was ever stable and my heart hasn't been at rest. I've tried to change, and only resulted in being more frustrated. I was doing things that was preventing a relationship. it sucked. it does suck. it's not over yet but it came to a head.

I started loving poorly and the ones i loved the most seemed to be the ones hardest to love. I could never get a grip and that scared me.

I read a blog today that inspired me to take some time alone and wait for God to tell you what to do. I thought this was probably the best way to spend my Monday afternoon after feeling dejected. I put my phone in a drawer, grabbed a towel, bible and a journal and headed out to the park near my house. God was amazing to me.

The clouds didn't part. I didn't hear trumpets. I didn't hear anything actually. God showed me what he wanted through his word. First, i felt directed to write a list of everything that gave me joy. Not happiness, Joy. Then i reflected on how much i was actually doing things that gave me joy. I also reflected on things i have been doing that gave me happiness, not joy. I came up with some conclusions on how to fix that problem and then God put a random verse in my head. It was 1 Peter 5:8. At first, i was skeptical and almost didn't look it up. Then i did.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, him himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.

James 5:8

Welcome to my blog.

Lauren